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Why are my balls itching?
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Submitted by EuroMan (Male) on Sunday - September 3, 2006
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I know you probably think that sex is by far my number one priority in life. Close! But wrong. It's taking the number two seat to my number one priority which is my health. If I don't have my health - I can't have good sex. Besides the fact that I don't want to die by slow roasting death like AIDS, I also don't want any disgusting rashes or formations on my dick. I used to think that everybody else doesn't want any of that either, but as it turned out I was way off! I find that I'm pretty much the only guy who whether knows or cares about not getting those nasty STDs.
People say that they care about staying disease free. They say they use protection and that they do tests, and blah, blah, blah. But as soon as I ask them a couple of questions on the subject it turns out that they really don't know shit about any of it and even less about how to protect themselves from it. It seems that by the time they were teaching safe sex at school everyone was already too busy screwing each other to listen to the lecture.
Let's get something straight: using condoms just for the intercourse is not enough! I'm sorry if I just shocked some of you. And if I did - I think you should stop reading immediately and get yourself to the closest free clinic. Using condoms is a must. However, there are a lot of different ways how you can get some nasty shit even if you are using condoms. You can get it if you take your condom off incorrectly, you can get it from the skin contact around the condom, you can get it from giving or receiving oral. Most people don't know that they can get any of those nasty things by simply going down on someone.
As I read some studies about stuff like herpes, I couldn't believe that most of them stated that majority of the people who had herpes didn't know about it! How the fuck does that happen? Are people too fat now days to see their own pussies and dicks? And even if they are - aren't they wondering why they are scratching down there every other second? I know people who make a hobby out of making their backyard lawn into a perfect smooth and silky piece of art. They spend tons of money on devices to cut it, then more money on shit to water it. And the only ones who get to ever use it are their dogs for the bathroom and their obnoxious kids for the playground. Yet those people do not care what's going on on their own genitals?
And then there is nasty shit like HPV. Which is the virus that brings you genital warts. The problem is that not only it covers your genitals in warts it also causes cervical cancer in many women. Now I don't care how much you love to fuck - no orgasm is worth it.
Then people say "I just did the test! I'm clean. So, let's fuck bareback". Back that hormone train up, buddy! That's not exactly true in most cases. Most STDs, much like a lot of other diseases, are not detectible in your blood or urine until at least a month after getting into your body. So, the results of your test are only as good as at least a month before it. So, if you've picked something up in between - you're one walking bio-hazardous mother fucker, and you should use two condoms ( preferably over your head ) just to talk to me.
Also, what's up with those guys who can't fuck with condoms on? "It's like behind a brick wall", they say. Are you fucking kidding me? If the most sensitive part of your body looses its erection just because a thinnest piece of gentle rubber is put over it - you've got a major problem. Especially with all different kinds of condoms that are lubricated, self-heated and ultra thin! Unless your dick has a turtle shell around it - there is no excuse for your whining.
Also, many times the "test" is not really the test! I found it the hard way, but caught it in time. When I have multiple sex partners I do my test every 6 months or so. This time I went to a new doctor and request the same standard "full panel STD test". Now when I hear "full panel STD test" ( and I know it may sound crazy, but bare with me here ) I assume that all of the possible STDs that can be detected in my blood and urine will be tested for. And even if it's not what that means any doctor would suggest that I would test for everything possible while I'm at it. Not this doctor. Since I told him that I didn't think I was directly exposed to any STDs recently, he was talking me out of getting the test. But when I've insisted, he did not really know what the "full panel STD test" was. I had to explain it to him, which didn't really help as he just wrote "full panel STD test" on the lab order paper and sent me on my way. The lab technician had to dig deep in their pre-historical computer to figure out what the "full panel STD test" meant. Finally, she has figured it out and I was on my way.
I called for the results in a couple of days and everything came back negative. Which is a "positive" thing, so I really hate how they use the term. I would have been a happy camper if a girl who I was dating at that time didn't ask me for an actual written proof of my health before she would fuck me. The last time I had to bring written proof of anything it was from my mom to my gym teacher. It was a little weird, but I requested the written copy of my results since I did want to fuck that girl really badly. To my and my blue balls' surprise the results were only for the 3 main STDs and nothing more. As I went back to the doctor it turned out that the "full panel STD test's" panel wasn't really that full. I couldn't believe that I had to educate my doctor on the fact that many other diseases like herpes, etc. are STDs too and should be tested for as part of the full panel test. I actually had to have the previous results faxed to him so he could figure out what I had to be tested for and which cup I had to pee in.
I know it's a little bit awkward, but I have learned how to find out if a new girl that I'm dating is a safe material or not. I basically make it into a fun "this is your sex life" game ( I wish it would come in a board game edition, but apparently it doesn't ). I try not to make it sound like an FBI style interrogation though. I make it sound fun and spread those questions into several bigger scaled conversations. I usually ask her questions about her previous sexual experiences making it sound like I'm encouraging her to brag about how wild she really is. Though I am usually interested in that too, my main goal is to find out if she is as safe as she is wild. I make unsafe sex sound cool and then see if she's cool with it too. I try to ask questions in a way where the "correct" answer sounds negative and she has to look like a bad guy to say it - that means I might be getting an honest answer. So, I don't ask questions like "Do you use condoms when you fuck?" Very few girls would admit to that. I ask my questions in a different way like "Do you use condoms all the time or do you trust your partner?" That way she has to sound like she is not a trustful person in order to tell me she always uses condoms. But if she is willing to say that - she is probably telling me the truth.
Though I never stop on just one or two little "tests" before I start believing she is safe. There are many other ways how I can have a girl admit to not being safe in the past. I, also, usually hint to her that I have done an STD test recently and see if she asks more about the results ( or even a written proof of it ). If she does - that means she is just as concerned about it as I am. Some girls would even ask for it before I even start this conversation.
I, also, ask if she has ever tested for Herpes I and II and then ( in a different conversation, of course ) I ask her if she has ever had a cold sore on her lip when she had a flu before. If she says "yes" to both - then she's lying. Because cold sores on the lips is what Herpes I is. ( By the way, Herpes II is the "bad" kind, which is also called "genital herpes"; and about 80% of all people have Herpes I ).
There are many other ways how I try to learn more about my potential sex partners' safety. Of course, I will never know for sure. However, I make all of the possible attempts to be relatively certain that I'm not putting myself at risk just because my blue balls are telling me so.
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By: bi-athlete (Male) on Sunday - December 2, 2007
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Cogent posting, but I do agree that your point would be better served if you omitted the "dude" speak and potty mouth. It detracts from your point. Thanks for the educational effort, though.
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By: dirtydirtydanny (Male) on Monday - May 7, 2007
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Thanks for the very informative post........Now I guess I got to go get neutered......that's the only way I'll be able to save myself
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By: 12getsome (Couple) on Wednesday - March 28, 2007
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A bit crude on the delivery but the point is well made. You can never be too careful and it reminds people that your safety is your responsibility and not your playmate'(s)'. If anyone is scared by this its usually because they have been made to realize the risks they have taken in the past and take this as notice that the risk is real and possible.
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By: Foodwineandsex (Female) on Wednesday - March 14, 2007
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dude, you guys need to chill the fuck out and just realize that ya sex is fucking amazing but ya you could get something really serious and not even know it. this guy is just trying to let us all know that you never know what could happen, know matter how safe you are. i dont know about all you guys that are bitching but thats the kind of person i feel safe playing with, not all of you who are put out by this statement.
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By: playmates36 on Sunday - March 11, 2007
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maybe you should go to the doctor thats something and the girl you fucking need help too
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By: thickncurvy (Female) on Saturday - March 10, 2007
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If you want to make sure you stay clean dont be a swinger. Swinger greatly increases your chances of contracting an STD, DUH!
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By: 68ioweu1 (Male) on Wednesday - February 7, 2007
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you have way too much time on you're hands , to write a BOOK about a subject that scares the hell out of anyone...when im having sex i am as carefull as the next person, but thinking of you're story, ill be lucky to even get a hard on now..if you are paronoid keep it to yourself . sounds like you had a real bad [ouch] experience in you're lifetime. i myself get tested , and i've had no problem, so maybe im doing it right and you are not, cause i dont fuck just anyone!!!!
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By: wer2nasty4u on Sunday - January 7, 2007
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My last response was to Penelope!
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By: wer2nasty4u on Sunday - January 7, 2007
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Well sweetie, you may want to get yourself to the nearest STD clinic and get checked if you find this so boring!!
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By: wer2nasty4u (Female) on Sunday - January 7, 2007
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THANK-YOU!! That is my feeling EXACTLY! I too have worked in the medical field for numerous years and currently work in the criminal justice field as an investigator. And it is common practice to view EVERYONE as having something contagious. I too love sex, but I have only had unprotected sex with one person in my life and that WILL not change! There are far too many people out tere who are not educated about STD"s or what they can do to you. I am very thankful that my best friend growing up was extremely sexually active and took the time to not only educate herself, but me as well. And as we grew up she became an STD counselor. ANd just as an FYI... HPV most generally has NO symptoms until it is too late. Males carry and pass on the virus to unsuspecting women. Males generally have no signs or symptoms and have no way of knowing if they have it. They can pick it up from other males or females. In women, there are still generally no signs of it until it is too late. I have never heard of anyone getting genital warts from HPV, that is a seperate disease. HPV causes pallops inside of a women that she would not even notice with out having a gynocological exam. This virus can be deadly in women and causes far more than cervical cancer. This is one that most people have never heard of but should DEFINITELY get educated about! I have SEVERAL friends with this disease and oddly enough, they all slept with the same guy back in our younger days. Now his ex-wife and couple of ex girlfriends have it. Most of these women would have never known they had it until we were all chatting and it came up that one of the girls had it and had to have all of her female reproductive organs removed. They all went and got checked, THEY ALL HAD IT!! The real scary part is, that it was 17 + years ago that they slept with this guy. IT IS A NASTY NASTY DISEASE WITH NO EXTERNAL SYMPTOMS!!!! PROTECT YOUR SELVES PEOPLE!
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By: Spinner4Dinner on Tuesday - November 14, 2006
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Would like to thank you for making sex so unappealing and so nasty. guess we shouldn't even shake hands without protective gloves on. Or give a kiss on the cheek without a face mask. Yes these things are out there and we need to be aware of them and protect ourselves.. It reminds me of the food we eat. You have no idea if your going to die from eating chicken, spinach, lettuce or for that matter eating dinner at a friends house who desides not to wash there hands before preparing your meal.. You can cross the street and die too..... Or sit on the toilet in the morning and have a heartattack..... and in closing.. we will die from something but I sure in the hell don't want to die from sex..... unless it was the best gush in my life and that is why I died.....
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By: fotoMOJO (Male) on Saturday - November 4, 2006
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First of all, having worked in the medical field for 15 years, with about a quarter of that in diagnostics, I can say there is no such thing as a "full STD panel". Most family practioners don't receive many requests for STD screening, because many people are concerned about STD info being in their medical records. Given the many related conditions that develop as the result of long-term STD's, it's far better to have STD screening done by experts in the field - and separate from your personal medical records. Many insurance carriers won't cover STD screening or treatment. More importantly, they many won't cover incedent conditions resulting from the STD. So, it's recommended that STD screening be performed by STD clinics. Clinics are also better prepared to diagnose more quickly and treat your condition more effectively.
STD test results should NOT be used as a "certification" or license. I've seen this on many profiles - "Results available on paper". Those paper results mean absolutely nothing, and if you are asking for them from your potential partners, you are seriously living in denial.
STD reports are printed after the blood draw and the test, obviously. You'll typically receive them in a couple of weeks following the draw. The report is literally a snapshot of your STD status as of the draw date. So, let's say you ask for written results and your savvy potential partner happens to have "recent" results to proudly share. Those test results are already outdated the moment he received his report, because you have absolutely no idea what he's done since the draw. It doesn't matter if the test results were printed two months ago, or two days ago, they are still at least two weeks older.
Test reports are for your personal use - they give YOU the assurance, NOT potential swing partners. Don't fool yourself into false assurance; assume everyone is positive for something regardless of his "full panel results".
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By: Bgdadyslilgirl on Thursday - October 26, 2006
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First of all any medical professional will tell you .. you can be SYMPTOM FREE FROM HERPES FOR SEVERAL YEARS before EVER getting any signs or symptoms this is called being ASYMPTOMATIC. THis is why sooo many people have it and don't even know it .. I believe the statistic was 80% but don't quote me its been a while since i looked it up! Has NOTHING to do with them being so fat they cant see the open sores!!! In MOST cases people never get the lesions. It lays dormant in the nerve fibers or gangleon untill it damn well desides to rear its ugly head and symptoms occur and this can be several YEARS.. in the mean time you are still infectious and speading herpes to others. This is true for both Herpes simplex which is cold sores.. or genital herpes. You also can get infected from herpes on the genitals from someone who has an open cold sore on there mouth.. this is why Dental dams for Oral sex with woman should be used and Condoms for oral sex with men.. also when fingering or doing mutual masterbation.. gloves should be worn.. either latex or Nitril. This is what the CDC refers to as SAFER SEX PRACTICES! First rule of thumb ,Euro would be to think of EVERYONE you meet and want to have sex with as possibly infected with an STD of some sort. ALWAYS Practice SAFER SEX and if you decide this is a person you want to have a relationship with and can trust get tested together!! and get your results together so you know!! Communication will be key that you agree not to fuck anyone else with no condoms, gloves or dental dams but if you truely want to STAY STD free. this is the ONLY way to do it. Any potential partner that you want to have an LTR with and go bare should have no problem marching down to the clinic or doctor with you and get tested before going bareback with you.
As far as all you NSA lets just fuck people..safer sex is key in staying healthy.. remember there is NO Cure for Herpes or HIV.. although no one has ever died from Herpes. .. HIV can kill
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By: sailors_sd (Male) on Friday - September 15, 2006
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Well, if I was trying to scare the hell about sex for preteens then this diatribe works pretty well. All the smackings of a "subtle" plot to keep the populace fearfull about one of lifes pure pleasures.
Yep! That's right. You can get all that mess by indiscriminate unprotected sex. So stupid people should'nt breed!
If your foray here is based soley on lust without responsibility then 'crotch crickets" are the least of your worries.
I have learned that the body will always reflect the health of its' motivator.
Learn to SEE, and enjoy, the many flavors of LIFE!
(It is so fleeting)
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