|
|
|
Looking for love outside of marriage on site?
|
|
|
|
Submitted by lovejunglelovers on Wednesday - May 14, 2008
|
After reading the last posting, I had a question that I want answered. In fact since joining this site I have always wandered. If you are a female/couple and are interested in a man/woman that openly admits to being married, and cheating on spouse, do you A) stop all communication with said person, even if you have been talking for awhile and really want to have sex with this person, B) Continue talking to said person for awhile because they are all you can get or C) Just not give a damn, and meet with person anyway? I would really like honest answers, I know most people would probably say that they would stop talking to them, but that can't always be true can it? Otherwise there wouldn't be so many people who openly admit to sleeping with someones husband (not talking about only people in lifestyle in that remark) what if the person in question was say Brad Pitt, would you still say "No way" and out of the people that say they would cease communications, how many are just saying that to look good?
I have been in a relationship where my significant other cheated on me, and on a site like this, and let me tell you, it does not feel very good as you can imagine. I would hope that if my husband was cheating and the other person even had an inkling that he was married that he/she would stop right there. (You know the ironic part is this, had he just been honest and said he wanted to have sex with other people with me, I would have been open to it. Obviously, lol. But then I wouldn't have my husband I have now.)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Replies Posted:
|
|
|
|
By: Katydid (Female) on Tuesday - July 15, 2008
|
Reply
|
I can say with absolute certainty that I always go out of my way to ensure that any man that I play with here or anywhere else is single...not just his definition of single. Not in the end of a bad marriage where they’re “practically not married anymore”...not far from home on business and that makes him available (there seems to be a man rule that more than a hundred miles from home makes you single) but truly single or at least legally divorced. I even do my best to ensure that there is no cheated on LTR out there. There is no maybe about it for me.
I can say this with such certainty because I have been on both ends of that game. Just after the end of my second marriage I got suckered by a slime ball sweet talking good looking law enforcement officer who told me after 3 dates that he was married but that things in his marriage were going south. I should have walked away then- but he was cute and I was much younger then. Perhaps I made the choice because I felt deep down that I was settling some score from being cheated on in my marriage. You can guess that nothing good came of it. Nothing good could have.
In fact, I can tell you for sure, that while it was terrible to learn of my ex husbands lies and infidelity- thus the ex before the title- It was worse to be the “other woman” who causes pain to an innocent wife. I have wished, many times, that I had used better judgment back then- I still do- but life is about learning. I learned the hard way, twice over, that the family suffers the most- husband’s wives and kids- when spouses cheat. I will never deliver that kind of unhappiness onto a family again.
That is why, when a guy acts married, I assume he is married- I take no chances. If anything about his contact ability seems “hinky”- I present my concerns and often enough, when backed into a corner they fess up. At that point of course it is a no thank you. If he says he is married but playing with her permission, I say great- let me hear tthat from her so we can set limits. None of this is because I am an “angel”, just an ethical slut- It has taken me a long hard life to get to the point that I can honestly say, when I look in the mirror each night, that I have harmed no one today. There is no orgasm worth trading that for. Besides- what goes around comes around- be sure of it.
|
|
By: Black_Erotic_X2C (Couple) on Sunday - June 29, 2008
|
Reply
|
Respect yourself and think about the dangers, put your self in the shoes of the one who is being hurt. Respect if everything. I the male have been in this situation before a few times where I was the one dating a married woman and she was wonderfull in every way imaginable but I knew this ride was not going to last, someone was going to get hurt and the chances are the one who is dating the married person will be the one to get hurt most often...at lease that is what I experience when being the male. I also think its how much you as an individual put into the relationship...when you put a lot into it you chances of being hurt is high. I resort back to what my pops told me, there are plenty of fish in the sea and you should fish in a ocean and not the pond.
My
$.02 + tax and shipping and handling fees
|
|
By: americanicon (Male) on Sunday - June 22, 2008
|
Reply
|
That is why it is better to evolve your relationship to an open status, which eliminates the "cheating" aspect. However it takes significant intellectual and emotional evolving to get to that point.
|
|
By: sexymami34 on Thursday - May 29, 2008
|
Reply
|
looking for love outside of marriage is what people here on Lifestyle site are doing...??? If you think your going to find love on a Lifestyle site...don't think so.. People are sharing the intimacy of their relationship with strangers.. "so called "friends" they've met on the first date.. depends are what you define love.. maybe someone should put up another post on the definition of "
:LOVE: when 2 people love each other and share intimacy with one another...
|
|
By: spiritruth411 (Female) on Sunday - May 18, 2008
|
Reply
|
I have had this happen more on AFF than here. But on AFF, they usually say that they are married (or attached, or "prefer not to say") on their profile, since it is one of the questions. Whenever I get an e-mail from one of those guys, I have a stock answer:
"I make it a policy not to play with married/attached men whose wives/girlfriends don't know and approve of what they are doing"
And, yes some of those guys were guys I would have jumped on in a minute had they not been married. But besides the fact that who needs all that drama, I really feel that playing should not be hurting anyone. If you play with someone who is married (if it is not an open marriage), then you are hurting the other person in that marriage. Eventually, it will come out and it will be messy.
I do think that something like that happened to me here once. It was strange. A guy of a couple on BC contacted me and said that he would like to meet and when I asked him, he said that his wife was OK with him playing separately. Then once on the phone he got off abruptly (he said later that his child got injured and they had to take him to the hospital). So we made a date to meet for lunch and he never showed up. I tried calling his cell and he didn't answer. When I tried to e-mail him (here on BC) later, I found I was blocked! The only conclusion I can come to is that his wife DIDN'T approve and she found out and kept him from meeting me and blocked me. I am just as happy it happened that way, because I would not be interested in a cheating husband.
My 2¢
Ruth
|
|
By: JaydubAndElle (Couple) on Thursday - May 15, 2008
|
Reply
|
We have a rule that applies to "us." It's not a judgment on others, just our rule.
If a person is married, then both must be involved or neither, male or female, no exceptions.
We have started "procedures' with a person and have found out that they're married and we simply explain hoe the rule works for us... no judgment on the other person or those who opt to play, regardless.
|
|
By: katcouple (Couple) on Wednesday - May 14, 2008
|
Reply
|
Well. There is no hard and fast answer to your question. Not everyone's moral compass is set on 'angelic' at all times.
I would say the average person would have a conscience and if they found out the person they were wanting to sleep with was married, they would sever ties with that person. It is the moral thing to do. It is what I would do. I would not want the label of potential 'home wrecker' on my personal resume, that isn't me. I know it takes two and if that person is gonna cheat then they are gonna cheat regardless, so ponder that. If not with you then it will be with someone else. Do you really want to be mixed up with that? Who wants that kind of drama, a fuck isn't worth that no matter how hot he/she is IMHO.
But as I said, not everyone cares about doing it like that. Some people want what they want and don't care about possible consequences, it is so individual.
I can tell you that for me, cheating is a horrible thing. I couldn't do it. I could never go behind my spouses' /SO's back and fuck someone else. It would be a total abuse of trust and I couldn't hurt someone I love like that.
Just my .02, plus tax...
kristy
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
